2 Naked Cats "Cat Box"

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Oct 27

Stop “Signs”

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We watched this movie Saturday night. While the pace is much like watching grass, or, more to the point, corn, grow, you eventually get sucked into the whole, silly plot which is about aliens landing in a corn field in Kansas and, instead of taking over the state capitol, or a 7-11, they concentrate all their energy on taking over a farm house where 4 people live.

I have some questions!

Why is it that aliens, who have the technology that allows them to travel 100’s of thousand’s of light years, can’t open a door?

Maybe the aliens aren’t from “out there.” Maybe they are by products of genetically altered corn. Maybe water makes them swell up and pop.

And, why is corn a symbol of evil, or creepiness? I realize that it is a recyclable food, but evil? I just don’t get it.

Also, what does Mel Gibson do for a living now that he is unfathered; what does his brother do besides smoke and watch television in a closet? Why don’t the kids go to school? Why is no one bothered when the boy murders his dog with a serving fork? What happened to the meat on the barbecue? Where’s PETA in all this?

Why are there 1252 half empty water glasses all over the farm house. I realize the daughter has a problem with water (hmm, maybe she’s part alien), but doesn’t any one ever clean a glass? Don’t they ever run out of water glasses? Do you have 1252 water glasses in your house?

Why does the younger brother hit the water glasses with his baseball bat? Wouldn’t it have been easier, and more accurate, just to throw water on the alien? How can you break a bat on a water glass?

How come the alien can’t get through the wood slats nailed to the windows, but can carve strange patterns in the same wood. It seems to me that he (it?) would just make one of those patterns bigger, and he’s (it’s) in.

Why does Mel Gibson, who is the father who was a Father, lose his faith when his wife is killed, but get it back when an alien is watered to death in his house?

Why didn’t the aliens bring raincoats, and umbrellas?

Why does the boy who has asthma and sucks on his inhaler every 30 seconds throughout the entire movie not have the inhaler when he is in the basement?

Why is the boy dead and then not dead? Is it a miracle, or is it Hollywood?

Why was this movie made?

Did anyone actually read this script before the movie was made?

Why did we watch it?

Will all these questions be answered in the Director’s Cut? Or, will it only get sillier?

Oct 21

Digital Rebel

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A digital rebel: that’s me, and my new camera.

I just bought a Canon Digital Rebel 6.3mg SLR. Very fast; very nice.

New photos should be clearer, if not better.

I bought the camera on eBay because that is where I found the best price and I have always had good luck with eBay sellers. The camera, with lense, came new, in the box, with a US Warranty.

Now I must buy every accessory known to man! I have started the quest by getting 2 more lenses and the battery grip and some filters and a billingham camera bag from England.

Oh, yeah, and some books from shortcourses.com. They have one book specific to the Digital Rebel.

You can read a complete review of this camera at Steves DigiCams. For a more generalized look at digital photography visit Digital Photography Review.

Oct 19

Dangerous Aquaintances

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Don’t I wish.

This photo is from the LP cover “Dangerous Acquaintances.”

A very good album with a great cover photo.

Oct 15

Hot August Night

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No, this is not about the weather; the weather would be more interesting.

I purchased this LP when it first came out. I decided to convert it to CD. I listened to one and a half sides before puking.

There is no way to express just how awful this album is. This guy has no talent. His singing sucks. His lyrics suck. People actually listen to this crap? I can’t believe I bought this piece of sh*t! Just think, I helped to make this bastard rich. Disgusting.

If anyone ever needs an album to burn on a hot August night, I’m willing to donate this one.

Oct 10

A Faint Cold Fear

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by Karin Slaughter [2003]

This is one of the strangest books I have ever read. It was shipped to me by mistake. Before returning it, I decided to read it.

It contains the oddest, most unlikable characters you will ever want, or not want, to meet.

Tessa: A slob, who makes a mess of her sister’s new BMW before she gets stabbed.
Sara: Tessa’s sister and exwife of the sheriff who she is still sleeping with. She feels guilty about almost everything.
Tessa & Sara’s parents: Here’s a couple of assholes for you. Unfortunately, they are still alive when the story ends. Maybe they could both choke to death on their false teeth in the next book.
Jeffery: The sheriff, who was married to Sara, then got divorced because he was having sex with a female sign painter, is now resleeping with Sara after having broken up with the sign painter who is now fat.
The therapist and her husband; parents of boy number 1: Don’t even ask!
The gay lab technican, or whatever he is, who is said to be annoying, but is not nearly as annoying as any of the other characters.

A boy is murdered. Tessa is stabbed at the crime scene when she goes off to take a leak in the bushes. She got to the crime scene because she was riding around with Sara who is the pathologist. Later, the girl who found the body of the boy is murdered with a rifle.

Actually, the “rifle” is a Browning 870 shotgun. The author doesn’t seem to know the difference and keeps using rifle when she means shotgun. Look it up goddamn it; there is a difference. A rifle has a, guess what, rifled barrel; a shotgurn has a smooth barrel and shoots, guess again, shot.

Another boy, who smells bad and takes drugs, is murdered because… Well, I don’t know why.

Oh, yeah, and we have Lena who was raped at some point before this story takes place. She has the nail holes, and a dead twin sister, to prove it. She was a cop; now she’s a college security guard who is totally screwed up (no pun intended). Though she has an aversion to being touched, she meets the aryan asshole from hell and they beat the crap out of each other while having sex, or maybe this was the sex; it’s not clear.

Finally the killer, who has a key to the house where the denouncement takes place, breaks a window to get in. Why? Who the hell knows. Maybe he doesn’t like doors; maybe the key didn’t fit.

Then there’s the knife with the broken blade which… Nevermind, you don’t want to know!

All, in all, this was a very entertaining read though I was worried that at some point it might start to make sense. Don’t worry, it never does.

Histories are more full of examples of the fidelity of dogs than of friends. - Alexander Pope




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