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Jul 25

Aliens!

1 comment - Read or Post a comment     Filed under General BS!

Have you noticed that aliens, who have the ability to travel millions of light years in a few hours, and whose technology is advanced way past ours, turn stupid the minute they enter earth’s atmosphere.

It’s like there is a stupid virus in the air. I realize we have caught it, but it really effects, or is that affects (I’m never sure: effects, I think), aliens.

Let’s take a little side trip, and look those 2 words up:

ef?fect
Pronunciation: i-‘fekt, e-, E-
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Middle French & Latin; Middle French, from Latin effectus, from efficere to bring about, from ex- + facere to make, do — more at DO
1 a : PURPORT, INTENT b : basic meaning : ESSENCE
2 : something that inevitably follows an antecedent (as a cause or agent)
3 : an outward sign : APPEARANCE
4 : ACCOMPLISHMENT, FULFILLMENT
5 : power to bring about a result : INFLUENCE 6 plural : movable property : GOODS 7 a : a distinctive impression b : the creation of a desired impression c (1) : something designed to produce a distinctive or desired impression — usually used in plural (2) plural : SPECIAL EFFECTS
8 : the quality or state of being operative : OPERATION – in effect : in substance : VIRTUALLY – to the effect : with the meaning

af?fect
Pronunciation: ‘a-“fekt
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Latin affectus, from afficere
1 obsolete : FEELING, AFFECTION
2 : the conscious subjective aspect of an emotion considered apart from bodily changes

Well, that’s certainly helpful, isn’t it. I’m still not sure; oh, well, back to the point…

That’s why they can never win. When the chips are down, they are dumber than we are. Makes you want to cry with joy, doesn’t it?

Oh, yeah, and they are always ugly and slimy even though most of them can change into humans when forced to. You would think that something that looks like rotten meat would also smell bad, but that’s never mentioned.

Maybe, like a lot of manly men, they slather on perfume, or as men who wear that smelly crap call it, cologne. Perfume is feminine; cologne is masculine. We could look it up, but we won’t.


Jul 23

Sales talk! What DOES it mean?

No comment - Post a comment     Filed under General BS!

Overheard last week, and spoken with all the sincerity a saleman can muster:

“I’m sorry, I can’t give you a discount, but, tell you what I can do, I can lower the price.”

Yep, makes you want to stick a gun in your mouth, doesn’t it. Better yet, stick it in their mouth and let nature take its course.

Hey! Do you know what’s worse than one salesman? Two!

Salesman have to be the wierdest people in the universe. Even though they’re lying, they believe other saleman tell them the true. I think it’s a misguided brothers in arms kind of thing.


God made the cat in order that man might have the pleasure of caressing the tiger. - Fernand Mery

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