2 Naked Cats "Cat Box"

  Weblog, Photo gallery, and TiVo's Boston Terrier Toy Box

Mar 28

Things just get stranger

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Last night Stephanie called from Miami and told us she used our phone number when she ordered dinner to be sent to her temporary apartment, and when we got a call from the delivery person, or restaurant, would we please let her know. OK, will do.

About an hour later some guy with a Spanish/Cuban? accent calls and asks to be “rung in” so he can deliver her food. I then used Skype to call Stephanie and told her the delivery guy was at the gate.

Mission accomplished. Ah, I mean, it actually got done; not like Iraq.

Mar 27

The new etiquette

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Recently, I returned a duplicate shipment to a vendor, which he hadn’t billed me for and didn’t know about, and which I didn’t have to do. To date, there has been no acknowledgement of this return.

Recently, I sent a copy of an episode of a TV program to a friend because we were at dinner, I have TiVo, and, since the program was on during the dinner time, he missed the program. To date, there has been no acknowledgement of the DVD.

Recently, after a weekend trip to Sonoma, friends from Oakland left some bottles of mustard and other condiments in our car which I then shipped Priority Mail to them. To date, there has been no acknowledgement of this shipment.

I am out about $20 for shipping which I don’t much care about.

However, a simple thank you would have been nice.

I should have keep the stuff, saved the money, and let them bitch about me; instead of me bitching about them.

Next time…

Mar 15

Uncle Sam does NOT want you (if you’re stupid or fat)

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Uncle Sam does NOT want your fat ass!

It has finally happened.

75% of Americans between 17 and 24 are too fat, or too stupid, or both, to join the military. Unfortunately, they are not too stupid to stay home and breed.

I find it disheartening that I’m almost 69 and in better shape than most of these useless bastards. Do you think there is any hope for retroactive abortions? After all, they’re not babies, so who would care?

Let’s hope these losers at least have the decency to not vote. Oh, yeah, I forgot, they’re too fat to get in the voting booth, and they can’t read anyway.

You can read the entire, depressing article here.

Mar 09

Bumper Sticker? Well, no it isn’t.

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We quit
Well, not me, but, Dear Boss, guess what we’re doing today.

I found this link while looking for something else. They are my current heroes.

Mar 09

Drawing a Line in the sand?

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I guess I am really confused.

I keep reading all these articles where people, or countries, are “Drawing a line in the sand.” This is written as if the drawn line is permanent.

I don’t think so.

Go to the desert, draw a line in the sand, come back tomorrow and try to find it; or if the wind is blowing try to find it in 5 minutes.

Go the the beach, draw a line in the sand, wait 2 minutes for the tide to come in, and look for your line.

Oops, all gone.

I think General Custer drew a line in the sand. It worked well for him.

Mar 01

Heaven and Hell! : a work in progress

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Now that I am getting closer, but not too close, I hope, I have a few questions:

❓ Since heaven was built a few thousand years ago when they didn’t have indoor plumbing or heated toilets or TiVo or iPods, what are the accommodations like now? Have they been upgraded?

❓ If they have been upgraded, were there classes for all the folks who died not knowing what a toilet or shower is?

❓ What about toilet paper? Is there any, or do you still use leaves and grass? Or Sears, Roebuck catalogs?

❓ What about those of us who only speak English? Are there classes that we can take to learn the language (whatever it is), or are there translators?

❓ Do the dearly departed, or whatever they are called, use deodorant, or even bathe? I know this is a problem, because when Christianity became the prominent European religion, people quit bathing until about 100 years ago. Which means you have a lot of smelly people up there, and I don’t want to hang around with stinky people.

❓ Is it legal to swap DVD’s and mp3’s? There are no copyrights in heaven are there? Will iPods be provided free of charge? How long do the batteries last? Can I pick my own music, or do I have to listen to hymns all day?

❓ Do you have a library? Or a good bookstore? What about audible books?

❓ Can I bring my dog? How about my cat? Will all my pets be there? What about the goat? Is he still pissed?

❓ Do I have to live in a dorm, or will I have my own apartment, or, better yet, my own house with a pool?

❓ How will i get around? I won’t have to walk, will I? I assume gas is free, or at least heaven sponsored, and that the price is reasonable. Is that correct? Do I have my choice of vehicles? Or, can I fly anywhere I want to go?

❓ Oh, yeah, can I chose my friends? I don’t like the creepy born agains here, so I’m sure I won’t like them any better there.

❓ Are the neighborhoods integrated? Do I have to mow my own lawn? Can I hire a gardener?

❓ Which brings up the question of money; how do I get some? Will I have my choice of jobs that I am not qualified to do, but since it’s heaven, I can do anyway?

❓ Is Jim Morrison there? How about Jimi Hendrix, and Janus Joplin? Do they have a band? Or, a bar? How much are the drinks? Do you serve Mojito’s?

❓ Is Leonard Cohen correct? Was Jesus really a sailor when he walked on the water? Did he wear short pants and a sailor hat? Any photos available?

❓ I just saw a bumper sticker that says Jesus loves you! Everyone else thinks you’re an asshole. Is that true? Does Jesus loves me?

❓ I have read that evanj’s believe in global warming. I assume this has something to do with the wrath factor: the more wrath the hotter it gets. Is that correct? If it’s correct, isn’t it intruding into the other guy’s business? Could you get sued? What happens if you lose, will it get cooler?

👿 I assume that Hell is pretty much as it’s always been, so I guess I don’t have any questions right now.

❓ OK, maybe one. Is there a thermostat?

We shall find peace. We shall hear the angels, we shall see the sky sparkling with diamonds. - Anton Chekhov




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